In His Presence

His Presence 

‬‬So throughout last week I had an extreme desire to be in the presence of God. I was feeling empty and looking for things or people to fill that void but God began to speak to me that there not what I'm looking for but that it's Him. I said somewhere along the lines with my conversations with God, God I don't know why I'm bored and trying to text people or search my phone for something to do but the truth is I'm empty and I need You. I'm acting as if Your not here with me so right now I acknowledge You and I ask You to fill my heart. At that moment, He began filling my heart with a desire to write in my journal, to bake cookies, play music and the next thing I know, we were having a good time. Now let me further explain; by default our heart reverts back to its old nature everyday because of the falling nature of man and we have all been "programmed" to operate without God. An example would be like a car that's alignment is off and it pulls to the left, unless you hold the steering wheel and make it go where you want it to go, in the event that you let go of that steering wheel, it would automatically venture to the left. So by default our alignment or our heart is off and we have to be intentional with making it go where we want it to go everyday. How I do that is by surrendering my hearts to God in His presence daily and He fills it with who I truly am "my new nature in Christ" and his characteristics such as love, joy, and peace. Then He becomes the driver and makes sure my heart is in alignment with His will. I am really beginning to understanding the importance of having a personal relationship with Him and knowing how to get into His presence on my own because in His presence are all the issues of my heart dealt with which takes me back to the scripture. "By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence" 1 John 3:19 What privileges we have that we can now, because of what Jesus did on the cross, conciliate; to overcome the distrust or hostility of, to win or gain, to make compatible, and reconcile, pacify; to bring or restore to a state of peace, calm, to reduce to a state of submission, quiet, and subdue, our hearts in the presence of God. 

Furthermore, in my earlier walk it was one thing to get into His presence on Sunday mornings or Tuesday evenings but (I'm speaking for myself) by the next church service my heart was filled again with things that were not like Him, not trusting Him, not at peace with Him and how did I know this because I was living out my old nature again. Another way to put it would be believing the lie because our lives are governed by what our hearts believes. And we can see from the scripture below that we believe with our hearts. Not the concepts we have in our minds about what we agree with. Romans 10:10 says "For with the heart man believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." It was as if I were going in circles. Pour out my heart on Sunday or Tuesday, get back in alignment then get busy in the world and it strips me of my identity, to run back to church to then pour out my heart again to be filled in His presence. And there was a season I was graced to do that because I hadn't learned to get into His presence on my own. But then God began pressing on my heart that He is requiring more of me. That that is not good enough but that I would have to learn to get into His presence daily sometimes multiple times a day so that I could keep my heart connected to Him which is my source of life. Or else I would always have a beggars mentality. Now that pierced my heart when He said that, because a beggar is poor and they live off of alms or in other words their dependent on someone else to feed or provide for them. Nothing's wrong with being dependent when you're a child but the time comes when you are weaned. That same milk is no longer filling and you get hungrier quicker because your growing. "For every one that uses milk is unskillful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongs to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Hebrews 5:13-14 

Therefore there is no way around it. I have to feed my Spirit man, my true identity or eventually it will die just like our physical man. The scripture says "Give us this day our daily bread." Matthew 6:11 in the Old Testament they had physical bread that came down from heaven, in the New Testament we have spiritual bread that comes down from heaven which is the life of Jesus. "And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that comes to me shall never hunger; and he that believes on me shall never thirst." John 6:35 So the revelation into this is that they (the people of God who were in covenant with Him) had physical bread called manna to preserve there physical man until the coming of Jesus (read Exodus 16) but we (who are apart of the new covenant) have spiritual bread to preserve and strengthen our Spirit man because Jesus already came so when we partake of His bread we partake of His life. (read John 6)Therefore I went from eating twice a week on Sunday's and Tuesday's to eating everyday multiple times a day. And we all know that (physically speaking) if a man is eating 3 times a day, that he is stronger than someone eating 2 times a week. Now my Spirit man which is who I really am was/is getting stronger and my heart is not so easily moved from its connection to God. My true identity is establishing and reinforcing itself because I'm experiencing it on a daily bases and my old life and it's ways of doing things before Christ that only catered to its fleshly needs is dying daily and becoming a faint memory. 

I said all of that to say that all of this is done in the presence of God. And if your heart reverts back to believing the lie, get into His presence so you can receive your daily bread which is the life of Jesus which he now lives through you. But remember just like God commanded them not to leave any bread for the morning, so we too cannot feed off of yesterday's bread because it was sufficient for that day. "Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Matthew 6:34. He purposely made it that way so that we will need Him just as much, or I would say even more so than we need our physical bread/food. We don't eat food today expecting it to keep us full tomorrow. The food we ate yesterday was sufficient for that day only and we have to see it spiritually that way also.

Everything we need is in the presence of God. And the good news is, we all have access because of what Jesus did on the cross. So eat up and watch your Spirit man get stronger. Hope you enjoyed! 

A Beautiful Exchange

Last week I was slipping on my studying and spending time with God as I had got distracted with cooking recipes, researching healthy foods, and Instagram. I mean I was reading my daily devotional, the verse of the day and reading my bible here and there but it was out of "duty" and not out of a heart of "pursuit". Somehow, I took my eyes off Jesus and put it on the by-product of Jesus such as how well I was cooking and how I can better serve my husband by cooking healthier meals. Not even realizing that the reason I was cooking well was because of the grace of God and as long as I continued to cultivate my relationship with Him, He would give us grace to eat healthier meals as well. But God got my attention real quick as I slipped from His grace and was messing up: my attitude was bad, my sticky buns turned out awful, I was eating bad, I was just pitiful. I crawled back like God what's happening His response: "If I slip from Him, I slip from grace. Grace is only there to avail me to spend more time with Him, not for me to spend my time doing my own thing. And it dawned on me that I wasn't holding up my side of the bargain. And it didn't take long for me to get back with the program neither. 

Now let me explain in more detail: for a person not operating under grace, it would take them months, or even years to learn how to play the keyboard, or get a degree in business, etc. But here's the exchange that we make with God: if we give up all the time and energy we would have put into learning how to play the keyboard or whatever else that's consuming us and pursue Him, He'll give us the grace to play the keyboard or give us the grace and wisdom to run a business without ever being taught. Side bar: don't just give up everything and then expect grace to take over, it has to be initiated by God. God has to be inviting you or pulling at you to give up XYZ to read more, pray more, or whatever and "at that moment" is the exchange presented to you. It's not something you just wake up one day deciding that you're going to quit your job and everything you're doing to seek God. You'll be setting yourself up for failure. That's presumption, not faith and sadly enough I've learnt that through experience. Anywho, back to what I was saying, something that would take us months or years to learn in our own strength, He'll give it to you for free and effortlessly. That's why there are musicians or dancers that are naturally gifted and the ones that learned how to play or move by repetition. So the conclusion of the matter is "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added on to you." Matthew 6:33(KJV) 

I pray that this blesses you. I planted, another may water, but it is God who will give the increase. Stay encouraged!  

"Are you trying to make it happen or are you letting God do what He Pleases?"

It's been two years since I've did a new blog and I must say that I feel disappointed about it because I stopped blogging based on the number of people were or weren't reading the blog. I thought no one cared to read them but there was a huge lesson to be learned with that type of thinking. Was I doing it with the right mindset? Consequently I was not which ultimately lead to me not blogging any more. This leads me to the topic of this blog "Are you trying to make it happen, or are letting God do what He pleases?"

Well the honest truth was I was trying to make it happen. I honestly and truly had a heart for the newly saved believers as I myself was just newly saved and needed some direction and had I had some direction I wouldn't have been so vulnerable to receive information for any ole body. And the purpose of my blog was to help, encourage, and educate the reader on what I've learned along the way in hopes that they wouldn't have to go through some of the things I went through. But here's where I went wrong, I got focused on how many people where reading the blog and the comments. I created a specific Instagram page for this blog and started liking any and everybody and then making posting about my new blogs that I wrote. It got so bad that I was checking to see how many people read my blog daily and when I didn't see the numbers increasing I got discouraged and that's what lead to me not blogging any more. Now I have no idea why I felt like I needed a million viewers in order to feel like I'm "being helpful". The bible says that there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven't strayed away! Luke 15:7 (NLT) And I ult to be the same way. Sometimes we are so caught up on the masses that we forget to minister or help and encourage the ones that God's placed in our lives. I let my few readers down that were reading my blog all because of being overly ambitions. The scripture says do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerrubbabel's hand. Zec 4:10 (NLT) Wow! That speaks a lot in itself, that the Lord was rejoicing to see the work begin.

To conclude, it took me having to go through some things in life to get to this very place that I'm at right now of recognizing my faults and reprioritizing. That's why I'm so thankful that "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 (KJV) So see even in our mishaps God turns it into a teachable moment. The moral of this blog is: if you have a passion in your heart to help, regardless if it's 1 or 20,000; just be faithful. God will see that it reaches whomever it's suppose to. So no need on spending all of your time trying to get people to read your blog, or buy your book, or whatever. Just be faithful and keep your focus on Jesus!

Hope this blessings someone!

You -vs- You

Ok so the scripture told me how to get transformed by the Holy Spirit by the renewal of my mind. Now I understood what it said but not really. I mean I knew what "renewal of the mind" meant but what I didn't fully understand was why? I knew that the world taught me things contrary to what The Bible teaches but the question still remained; why was this important? 

Before I had a full understanding, I was just another person going through the flow doing things (renewing my mind so I thought) because the pastor, teacher, church, or whomever told me so. So I would read the bible here and there, listen to my gospel, go to church (early to y'all), dance, and shout. But ultimately I began to become lazy with my holiness. I desired to read the bible more "but" I would put it off, I wanted to pray more "but" I was too tired, I wanted to draw closer to God "but" I was too busy, I should have had junk in my trunk from all those "buts".lol There was always something that distracted me or caused me to steer away from my routine. The crazy thing was, it was me that was the distraction. It wasn't my friends or family but me. I would be busy doing a bunch of nothing. Am I the only one? I mean I was on Instagram, YouTube, hanging out, texting, doing my hair, and anything I could find to take me away from renewing my mind aka reading that bible. I would have good intention to read the bible but I would do something that would distract myself. It was like I couldn't help myself. Then I ran across this scripture. (Galatians 5:17 NLT) "The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions." I found this interesting that I have a force (evil) in me, fighting me so that I don't carry out my good intentions. Have you ever had good intentions in a situation when approaching a friend or family member with an issue or problem? But somehow it took a turn for the worse and the next thing you know you're arguing, screaming, and now you look like the bad person? Because according to the scripture, two forces (good and evil) are fighting and one is trying to stop you from doing what God wants you to do or in other words live out your good intentions. But we're not even aware of this so our sinful nature wins every time. Hints to why you approached the situation with good intentions and then somehow your pride or ego has been tampered with and now you're out of character defending yourself. (I'll talk about why that is in another blog)

It wasn't until I stumbled upon Romans 7 when I realized I was in a war with a power far greater than I was and the enemies lethal weapon was my own flesh. Talk about an unfair fight! (Romans 7:23 NLT) "But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me." As I read this I saw two things: one that there's another power (satan), and two that its WITHIN ME. Not in the world, not the people I see on a daily bases, but in me! And to top it off, it's at war with my mind. WOW! (Romans 7:15-20 NLT) "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it." Now this passage spoke to me on a different level. It single handedly changed my whole perspective on what I was up against. Not only am I up against satan but I am up against my own flesh and blood. Now think about that for a second. Now here I was thinking I was only at war with the enemy in my mind but now you're telling me I'm up against the evilness (sin) in my own flesh? 

After that I got all kinds of revelation (things being revealed to me). Like for instance, have you ever caught a toddler doing something that they knew was wrong and when you caught them they lied and said it wasn't them? Now think about this, they know how to lie before they know what lying is. Crazy right? They (you and I), as a toddler, know how to break one of God's commandments before they know how to use the bathroom by themselves. Now I don't know about you but that's evidence to me that we are born with sin/evil in us. (Genesis 8:21 NLT) "And the Lord was pleased with the aroma of the sacrifice and said to himself, “I will never again curse the ground because of the human race, even though everything they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood. I will never again destroy all living things." We were born into sin, meaning we were helpless from birth. The Lord Himself said "even though EVERYTHING they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood." 

So the realization that I was facing was that I was born with EVIL in me! All these years I thought I was a good person but now the bible is telling me that by nature I'm a liar, I'm a covetous, etc; a sinner. That's a tough pill to swallow. But God couldn't leave his children helpless and defenseless. He knew we couldn't win or fight this battle on our own. (Romans 7:25 NLT) "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin." This is the reason Jesus Christ sent us another advocate: The Holy Spirit. Only through the Holy Spirit are we able to truly obey God's commandments. And the only thing that's smarter than the devil and our human rationale is God's Word. That's why we must study, meditate, believe, and have faith in His Word. Cause lets face it, I hope you don't think you are smarter than you? Which hints to the reason you have your life all figured out right. I think not!

I challenge my reader to become aware of these different forces in you. Pay attention to how your body reacts when you're reading the bible. Do you get tired, is your mind wondering, are you feeling sick, etc? We have to train our bodies to do what the spirit wants because for so long it's been doing what our sinful nature wants. Don't get discouraged because it's a process for us all. I pray this message touches the heart of someone who had questions or maybe didn't fully understand like me. I pray that you meditate on, not my thoughts, but God's word. I encourage you to read Romans 7 and Galatians 5 so that you can understand for yourself and know what you're up against. But I'm sure, for some of us, the force (enemy) is already fighting you and trying to stop you from reading the 2 chapters I have suggested. But I pray that your spirit wins this time so that you will began to know the truth. Thank you and God Bless:)

Conforming to "religion"

After I was saved or what the "church folk" like to say; born again, I assumed that my past was forgiven and now I need to clean myself up. The key word was "I" need to clean "myself" up. It became this long laundry list of things I can't do anymore or at least the things I thought I couldn't do. Not that I had ever read the bible so I based my clean up process on what I've been told how religious people are "suppose" to act. Therefore, I was conforming to man made "religion" instead of being transformed by the Holy Spirit. I cut the top of the weeds off without removing the roots. Now what does that mean? I stopped doing the things that I've spent 27 years doing such as partying, drinking, fornicating, lying, etc... And I thought that magically my life would be pure from this day forward. But just when I thought those things were gone, the weeds grew back stronger than ever. I couldn't understand why I was still wanting and gravitating to these things. It became a internal battle and a mere impossible one at that. I would pick up the bible and read from the beginning because that was what I was told. I learned how the world was created but lets just be honest, that wasn't helping me with the battles I was facing at that particular moment. I kept thinking, when will I get to the part in the scripture that would help me now? I was going to church every Sunday, reading my bible daily, but yet that magical new me that I thought would happen was not reality. I was just the same ole me, only difference was I finally admitted I was sick and in desperate need of Jesus Christ My Lord and Savior. 

Now the question is, how do I become transformed by the Holy Spirit? Or in other words, how do I get rid of the roots? Romans 12:2(NLT) say "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way we think". What does this mean? By reading scripture which is the living word. This will ultimately renew, reeducate, and redirect our minds. The things that the bible teaches is the complete opposite of the world. For instances, Romans 12:17  (NLT) says "never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable". Now this may ruffle some feathers like it did mine because I've been taught by the "world" that if somebody do me wrong then do them wrong. My actions then became justifiable because they did me wrong first therefore, I am not held accountable for my wrong doing. Meaning I didn't feel sorry for them because I believed they deserved it. But thats completely contrary to what the bible teaches. Cause if you think about it, the bible tells us not to repay evil with more evil. Well why does it say that? Because when we do evil in return, it makes them "think" there actions are justifiable. That's the key words "think there justifiable". Romans 12:20 (NLT) "if your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads". So He is basically saying, by doing good even after they have done you wrong, they have no reason to justify there actions and in return they will carry around that guilt or shame. We all know how heavy that burden can be. I know I have did wrong, knew I was wrong, and I couldn't justify it. The burden of shame I carried around kept me from doing that again. Are you keeping up with me?

Anywho, that is just an example to help you understand that God teaches us things contrary to the world. Because the ONLY way we will be able to walk the way of Christ,  is if we let the Holy Spirit transform the way we think. Not by conforming to man made "religion". 

I encourage my readers to read Romans  8-12 so that you can read it for yourself. Because until we understand what we are up against, we are unprepared and will loose every time. Stay encouraged and feedback is appreciated. Love you all and stay blessed!

The Alter Call

You're standing in the pews, with your head bowed, eyes close, listening to the pastor make an alter call. You feel something internal and not exactly sure what it is but something in your soul telling you to make your way to the alter. You wrestle back and forth with yourself because of shame and guilt. You don't want to publicly display the fact that you are a sinner and have not giving your life to Christ. What will they think of me? Is this something I'm ready for? These are some of the questions that cross your mind. They will see what I've tried so hard to cover up. Then you begin pleading with God; Father can't I just confess and repent right where I stand to avoid the agony of people's judgement burning through my clothes? But yet something in you is pulling at you, telling you, you should go up there. So you take a leap of faith and go up to the alter nervous and shaking. All eyes are on you while you take every apprehensive step forward. Others begin to join you at the alter and a little of the pressure is relieved when you realize you're not alone. You leave church feeling great and ready to take on the world to soon realize that the "real" battle has just begun. You have now entered the stage called "I'm saved! Now what?"

There will be a series of postings in hopes to help newly saved souls to continue on with there walk with Jesus Christ. I'm not a pastor, preacher, or teacher; I am simply sharing my experiences and things that have helped me strengthen my relationship with our Father. Ultimately the Holy Spirit gets the credit for my transformation. If you can relate, please post your thoughts. Thank you and God bless!