Before I had a full understanding, I was just another person going through the flow doing things (renewing my mind so I thought) because the pastor, teacher, church, or whomever told me so. So I would read the bible here and there, listen to my gospel, go to church (early to y'all), dance, and shout. But ultimately I began to become lazy with my holiness. I desired to read the bible more "but" I would put it off, I wanted to pray more "but" I was too tired, I wanted to draw closer to God "but" I was too busy, I should have had junk in my trunk from all those "buts".lol There was always something that distracted me or caused me to steer away from my routine. The crazy thing was, it was me that was the distraction. It wasn't my friends or family but me. I would be busy doing a bunch of nothing. Am I the only one? I mean I was on Instagram, YouTube, hanging out, texting, doing my hair, and anything I could find to take me away from renewing my mind aka reading that bible. I would have good intention to read the bible but I would do something that would distract myself. It was like I couldn't help myself. Then I ran across this scripture. (Galatians 5:17 NLT) "The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions." I found this interesting that I have a force (evil) in me, fighting me so that I don't carry out my good intentions. Have you ever had good intentions in a situation when approaching a friend or family member with an issue or problem? But somehow it took a turn for the worse and the next thing you know you're arguing, screaming, and now you look like the bad person? Because according to the scripture, two forces (good and evil) are fighting and one is trying to stop you from doing what God wants you to do or in other words live out your good intentions. But we're not even aware of this so our sinful nature wins every time. Hints to why you approached the situation with good intentions and then somehow your pride or ego has been tampered with and now you're out of character defending yourself. (I'll talk about why that is in another blog)
It wasn't until I stumbled upon Romans 7 when I realized I was in a war with a power far greater than I was and the enemies lethal weapon was my own flesh. Talk about an unfair fight! (Romans 7:23 NLT) "But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me." As I read this I saw two things: one that there's another power (satan), and two that its WITHIN ME. Not in the world, not the people I see on a daily bases, but in me! And to top it off, it's at war with my mind. WOW! (Romans 7:15-20 NLT) "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it." Now this passage spoke to me on a different level. It single handedly changed my whole perspective on what I was up against. Not only am I up against satan but I am up against my own flesh and blood. Now think about that for a second. Now here I was thinking I was only at war with the enemy in my mind but now you're telling me I'm up against the evilness (sin) in my own flesh?
After that I got all kinds of revelation (things being revealed to me). Like for instance, have you ever caught a toddler doing something that they knew was wrong and when you caught them they lied and said it wasn't them? Now think about this, they know how to lie before they know what lying is. Crazy right? They (you and I), as a toddler, know how to break one of God's commandments before they know how to use the bathroom by themselves. Now I don't know about you but that's evidence to me that we are born with sin/evil in us. (Genesis 8:21 NLT) "And the Lord was pleased with the aroma of the sacrifice and said to himself, “I will never again curse the ground because of the human race, even though everything they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood. I will never again destroy all living things." We were born into sin, meaning we were helpless from birth. The Lord Himself said "even though EVERYTHING they think or imagine is bent toward evil from childhood."
So the realization that I was facing was that I was born with EVIL in me! All these years I thought I was a good person but now the bible is telling me that by nature I'm a liar, I'm a covetous, etc; a sinner. That's a tough pill to swallow. But God couldn't leave his children helpless and defenseless. He knew we couldn't win or fight this battle on our own. (Romans 7:25 NLT) "Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin." This is the reason Jesus Christ sent us another advocate: The Holy Spirit. Only through the Holy Spirit are we able to truly obey God's commandments. And the only thing that's smarter than the devil and our human rationale is God's Word. That's why we must study, meditate, believe, and have faith in His Word. Cause lets face it, I hope you don't think you are smarter than you? Which hints to the reason you have your life all figured out right. I think not!
I challenge my reader to become aware of these different forces in you. Pay attention to how your body reacts when you're reading the bible. Do you get tired, is your mind wondering, are you feeling sick, etc? We have to train our bodies to do what the spirit wants because for so long it's been doing what our sinful nature wants. Don't get discouraged because it's a process for us all. I pray this message touches the heart of someone who had questions or maybe didn't fully understand like me. I pray that you meditate on, not my thoughts, but God's word. I encourage you to read Romans 7 and Galatians 5 so that you can understand for yourself and know what you're up against. But I'm sure, for some of us, the force (enemy) is already fighting you and trying to stop you from reading the 2 chapters I have suggested. But I pray that your spirit wins this time so that you will began to know the truth. Thank you and God Bless:)
